Beer and The Blues

Beer and the blues in terms of emotion... not the music genre. That’s what this is about. I’ve been drinking so much wine lately, that I decided to drink a good old American beer today (not Budweiser which although Im proud is an American icon... well of course it is because it is basically the inventor of what we call American Ale...but it tastes like dirt and I would rather lick the stones on my drive way than drink Bud) so I cracked open some Sam Adams Winter Ale.

Well, as the background here, it was actually 48 degrees today which is warmer than the past few weeks, so I opened up the house. Really, it wasn’t the weather but the fact that I wake up and Nanna is giving me hell about the food choice again. She won’t eat. I know she will yack if she doesn’t and the past few days she has gotten raw egg in her dry food in order to coax her to eat. She is about a stubborn as her mother, and this morning I will be damned if I am going to give into this game.

She looks at me and sits. Stares. Still staring. "Goddammit Nanna! You’re going to eat your damned food. Tuesday stares at Nanna wanting only to eat Nanna's food too. "Fine. No breakfast for you." Nanna walks over to her food. Sniff sniff. Sit. Stare. Grrrrr! That is I growling and not the dog.

Take them outside to do their business. All is well. Im still sticking it out. Come back up stairs and Nanna still wont eat but she sure as hell will guard the food in order to prevent Tuesday from eating. Fine then. You’ll just go hungry.

What does she do? yack on my cream colored carpet. What do I do? Put egg in her damned food to get her to eat so that she doesn’t yack again. Damned dog wins every time. Grrr!

So, I steam cleaned, mopped the floor, did dishes, ran some laundry, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the bedroom and various other chores. Its 4.10 pm right now, so it is definitely time for a beer. I have not left the house today, but I feel exhausted and with the day beginning as it did, I feel that I deserve to kick back. Crack one open, and it goes down like water. Crack beer number two and I am totally depressed.

On a day like today, alone and bored, I would generally call my sister. We would talk about nonsense that only we found funny. generally we would laugh about JW4, then move onto Dad and laugh about him, and then the Robin conversation would begin and we would pee our pants laughing about Indian heritage, Jewish conversion and her mixed racial heritage... (all of which is totally untrue and a product of her psychosis). Jeff would look at me and say "On the phone again with Sara?" which translates to "You’re going to be on the phone for the next two hours and then be drunk when you’re finished, right?". I would say, "Yes" which translates to "Yes".

Today Im miserable. I can’t call her. One, she is at work and its only 10 am *there, not here) for Pete's sake. Two, it costs $15 to talk for 30 min. Our phone calls would be insanely expensive. Three, well, I don’t know what my three was but Im sure I had one and Im sure it was as miserable as I feel right now.

The summary is this; I miss Sara, I miss my friends, and I miss just being a phone call away. I may love being here and this experience is not something I would trade in for anything, but I do miss the people I love desperately. So cheers to drinking by one's self without the ability to call anyone. Ugh. Ok, well Im off to hang out with the bitches.