The Misery of Misery: A Tale of Separation Anxiety

So, Jeffrey just left. He got my up at 3:30 am to take him to base. I was dreaming that I was climbing a stone wall that was many stories high and I got super scared at the top thinking that I was going to fall. A friend helped me up and then I woke up with a start because I had fallen back asleep. I have become used to ignoring Jeff’s alarm, which is really his cell phone because he refuses to use my fancy little European alarm clock that I bought. Here is the kicker that really chaps my ass. I cant even plug in my alarm clock from the states, which we didn’t like anyway because it has this huge nightlight on the top which doubles as a spot light where Jeff will either cover the thing up with a t-shirt making the damned thing useless because who wants a clock that you cant see? Or he whines about the ridiculous spot light and puts on his little eye patches to keep the light from his eyes, which is really the sleeping patch that Delta Airlines gave us on the flight over to Italy. Anyway, everything is this dumb 220-volt, so to use anything, you need to buy a converter. 300 watts (which ain't much folks) could probably cover the clock and a light but even that costs $60. For the 2000 watt (which covers my coffee maker, or the vacuum cleaner, or the stereo but not any combination of the three without blowing circuits and burning out every electronic appliance in the house) it costs $200! This is highway robbery! Why the hell does the US have 120 volts and the rest of the world has 240? I mean a 60-watt light bulb uses just that, 60 watts regardless of the voltage. This is not an energy saving scheme we have going on here. It is just a moneymaking ploy to screw travelers out of using previously purchased electronic equipment. And don’t even get me started on the plugs! Ok, the plugs… Italy has these stupid two prong plugs that are like meat thermometers. This is just fine and dandy except that every damned country in Europe has something different, and here is where I blame the Italians… Germany (who makes my cute and fancy little cordless digital alarm clock, which I adore because it is like a Rubik’s cube because I cant read any of the labels on the buttons so programming is like a little puzzle to be solved every time) has these meat thermometer plugs too, except theirs are thicker. Now it appears that Germany is the major manufacturer of stuff here so everything you purchase needs a plug adapter. My American shit needs a plug adapter AND my Italian (German made) crap needs a plug adapter. It is annoying. I cherish the memory of being able to simply plug something in without blowing a circuit (which we do on occasion) or digging around the house for a spare adapter or worse, an expensive converter. Ugh.

Anyway, Im off track here, because the purpose of this post is that Im miserable about being miserable. My week will go like this…

Wake up and email, check the news, hunt for a job. Ill probably makes myself an omelet (god, how Im addicted to eggs!) and then rewrite another resume. I may get bored and clean a bit all the while listening to my Podcasts. Then 3:30 pm will come around, and just when Im getting antsy for Jeff to come home from work, I will feel like poo poo caca because he is gone. Ill be miserable and try to drink some wine but that will only make me feel worse because Im not much of a drinker when I feel crappy. I suppose that is a good thing or else I would have a serious alcohol problem.

Anyway, Wednesday starts and the dogs are thinking, “Where the heck is the other human?” so they will follow me around at my heels all day. ALL DAY! It is insane. They become nervous and needy which really shouldn’t surprise me since they are insane and have separation anxiety. If you’ve ever read about separation anxiety, the experts will more often tell you that the dog is bored and you should walk your dog more blah blah. Not my dogs. They fit the bill for the serious version. They are totally insane, but that is another story. Anyway, they will be testing my every nerve. Sadly, I know this will go on for days. DAYS I TELL YOU! Right about now, you should be feeling sorry for me. It is totally irritating to have your dogs literally within 12 inches of you for days. I cant even go to the bathroom without them pushing the door open and sitting next to me staring at me with sad eyes. Ugh.

This will probably last until the weekend, but right about then I will be even more miserable because Jeff is not here to hang out on the weekend. And this misery will go on for weeks. It stinks.

So, here I am writing. Im not yet miserable, but miserable about the fact that I will be miserable shortly and there is not a damned thing I can do about it. I know, I know. He is only gone for a few weeks, but I swear I have the human version of separation anxiety and I just plain don’t like it. Not one bit. Wish I could call my friends, but the hour difference is so weird and the calls are so expensive. So, I need a way to occupy some time. There is only so much one can do when you’re tight on money. I guess I could go to the gym, but that doesn’t sound like much fun now, does it? Anyway, suggestions are welcome. I need some busy work. I need to not be miserable about being miserable, because the misery is coming anyway, and there is no good reason for a bout of pre-misery, is there?